But It Was On Sale

My wife has just joined the iPhone team. Despite many years of me telling her of previous phone’s inferiority, she maintained that the Samsung (RIP) and widows phone were better. She was wrong. I want to bask in the glow of that last sentence.

Basking complete.

Why did it take so long for Lacey to realize the error of her ways? The iPhone debuted in 2007 and there have been numerous models. Why the delay? It was a combination of factors. Wrong times for upgrades. Pushy salesmen. Seeing the iPhone’s competitors and making the mistake of believing it was just as good. But the main factor for the waiting is a badge my wife proudly displays: she’s cheap.

I’m tagging her in this post, so before you say,”Oh no he didn’t” and text Lacey to tattle, read the previous sentence again. She wears it like a badge of honor. She loves her cheapness. The bigger the deal, the better. And when you have me as a husband, cheap is a necessity. At least initially. When Lacey and I were first married, we had just completed college and were quite accustomed to being broke. As a newly commissioned officer in the armed services, my meager salary seemed like a fortune. It wasn’t and after a year or so of living the American dream (credit cards=woohoo), I decided to adopt some of Lacey’s traits.

Things have definitely evolved. The traits that I have adopted have become stronger and I have adopted even more. I can’t prove it, but I believe Lacey has secretly been brainwashing me in my sleep. No joke, a year ago, I called from the store to ask if I could spend 20 bucks. After she got off the phone with me, she immediately called her mother to let her know that the brainwashing was working. They celebrated by clipping coupons and scouring the Internet for deals.

Her cheapness isn’t all discounted candy canes and clearanced out lollipops though. It has its drawbacks. I get basically what I want from the grocery. Basically. I’ll admit, I have some particular tastes, but I get what’s on sale. Tonight she returned triumphantly from the grocery store with TWO pork roasts. Why? Buy one, get one free that’s why. K-Cups now come in Kroger brand. Sure, they weren’t coffee, but light French vanilla cappuccino is sort of like coffee, right? There’s a difference between regular oats and minute oats? Who cares. Regular oats were 6 cents cheaper baby!!!!!!

Things might be slightly off in our pantry and our freezer may contain sale meats from six months ago, but my checking account has never been healthier. The joy in Lacey’s face from the deals she got, allows me to choke down the regular oats, while sipping on non-coffee coffee. Despite her aggressive pursuit of discounted products, there’s no better picture than her holding Callie. And that’s pretty awesome.


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